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The come in weekly along with the annual reviews and monthly budgets…

The follow up question will be how many quarterly reports do we get in a year…

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19 Comments leave one →
  1. Oh. My. Goodness. This guy used to work at my company, didn’t he? I cannot even tell you how many times I get questions like this one… or people calling me up with some variation on they ‘didn’t get the quarterly reports this month.’

    “Um, did you get the one at the end of the quarter? You did? Are you asking me to send you a duplicate copy of the Quarterly Report? Aah. I hear it clicking in your head. Good work.”

    • Very funny. I struggled with how to respond because there really is no way to explain this without somehow assisting the person to come to the realization that they are inherently stupid. Finally, I just decided on “once every three months.” It seemed to do the trick. If I remember correctly his response was “Quarterly then? Very good. That’s all for now.” I’m not sure if I heard a click but I believe I saw some flash of recognition in his eyes.

  2. bigsheepcommunications permalink

    Could be that although SF receives a quarterly report, he never actually “gets” it.

    • I’d say that’s a very fair assessment, bigsheep. I don’t think he reads them – I’m pretty sure he just files them under “weekly updates.”

  3. Just tell him that there are no quarterly reports.

    • Ha. I should tell him there are no quarters anymore. That we’ve changed our fiscal year and contract cycle so that people are now reporting in “fiftherlies”…He wouldn’t have questioned it for a moment and I have to admit that the idea of him discussing fiftherlies at a senior management meeting is rather hard to resist.

  4. Your boss is like a teacher who asks a question with a very evident answer.

    • Yes…but teachers usually know the answer and are trying to draw it out of you. SF is just an idiot.

  5. So why do you work with/for this guy?

    • You know that expression “You can pick your friends but you can’t pick your family.”

      It’s sort of like that only in this case, I can pick my career but not my idiot boss. I enjoy the work and I’ve invested a lot of years in it – plus, I can’t help but feel that in another 18-24 months he’ll likely move on.

  6. do you ever fear that his idiocy might be contagious? i, too, am a government worker and worked for what must have been a disciple of your boss. during work (and nonwork) hours, i would sometimes find myself asking questions that could have just as easily come out of her mouth. it was very disconcerting.

  7. Anastasia Beaverhausen permalink

    Mine who is just as much of an idiot is officially retiring in June. I shall throw a party at my house, she is not invited. It will involve a lot of alcohol.

    She would ask a question like this, only she’d couch the actual question in the middle of 18 paragraphs of rambling nonsense in an epic email, one of dozens I receive in one day. I started almost completely ignoring them about a year ago. Or I email: what? I love doing that.

    Hang in there, buddy. It’s GOT to end, right?

  8. Anonymous permalink

    So have you considered what would happen if your boss discovered that you had this site?

    I’m not trying to say that you should take it down, I just think that you might want to consider the fact that it could endanger your career. People have lost their jobs for similar reasons. One example that comes to mind is the U.S. navy officer who was recently discharged due to some “raunchy” videos that he had posted online.

    However, I do find everything on this site hilarious.

  9. PLEASE do the fiftherlies thing…it would work!!

  10. I often get this (stupid) question from my manager too. Gosh, I swear, I don’t know how those big bosses decide to hire managers like these ones.
    But you, sir, are hilarious! Made my double shift so much better! I can finally go home tonight happy from laughing profusely in my head (in case the big boss is watching the security cameras). I’ll be reading your post as much as I can….hopefully on a daily basis. -Lovely

  11. Reblogged this on My Life Uncensored and commented:
    When I get emails, phone calls, or notes asking questions like this, I have ZERO response.

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